A year? It' s been an entire year since I posted last???

Well, it has been insanely busy, and it never seems to stop. So I'm trying to remember that each of these precious little moments is gone once it slips by.

Even the things that make me so frustrated at times - my kids taking "too long" to go to bed or fall asleep once they're in it... what am I in such a hurry for? To go play on Facebook, read another magazine article, or watch TV? In a few years, my kids won't need or want me to help them fall asleep at night - and I'm going to miss it.

I still catch myself letting my old thought patterns creep in (they are pesky things), but lately I'm praying more and that helps to focus me. For example, if my little one takes a long time to fall asleep, I rub her back and pray while I'm doing it. I usually pray for the children, my husband, ask for grace so that I can be a more loving mom and not let my own impatience, irritability and overall known craziness affect my girls. If it takes a really long time, then I get to pray for our extended family and friends. It's a total win-win, it keeps me from getting upset about how long it's taking, and it leaves my daughter with the feeling that her mommy loves her and is there for her when she's drifting off to sleep.

It's hard when I'm in the moment sometimes, especially when my hubby is home and I want to spend some time with him, but I feel like I am getting better at just defaulting to prayer. So what if it takes an extra 20 minutes? I guarantee when I would fuss and get the kids upset, it takes at least 20 minutes to calm them down and I feel like a jerk afterward.

Now, it may take some time, but they fall asleep peacefully and I get my prayer time in.

I don't get Twilight...

I must be getting old, I just don't get the whole Twilight obsession. I am starting to feel like I'm from the Planet Oldagea.

Intense Night Weaning - Night 1

Lola’s been waking up 1-3 times during the night to nurse (“num num”) back to sleep. It’s starting to take a real toll on me, I’m dragging thru the day and I figured she is old enough to night wean. I still plan to nurse her before bed for a while, and gently wean her altogether.

Well – Sarah was easier than I thought to night-wean and we weaned her much more easily than I thought she would. It used to be her comfort, for hurt feelings, bumps and bruises, etc. Nursing was like a reset button when she was a toddler.

Now Lola is not comforted by the num, she won’t nurse and feel better like Sarah did. BUT she wants what she wants. Late last week, after waking up multiple times to nurse and not being able to fall asleep (me), I said nums went nigh nigh - and the first night she fell back to sleep sort of easily, but I kept having to walk around with her to lull her back to sleep. We’d lay down, she’d wake up, I would get up and get her back to sleep. That was really night #1, which was deceptively easily. The next day, I felt like I was going to fall asleep driving the girls to school – scary.

The next night, she pitched a fit and it was so exhausting that I gave in after an hour or so and just rocked/nursed her back to sleep. After a week of little sleep, it was easier just to give in.

She didn’t feel well this weekend, was really clingy & irritable, so I backed off. But I’m exhausted… I looked up some different ideas for night weaning on the web this morning and decided on a little action plan. So I decided between 11pm and 5 am is a no num num time, I’m going to try this for 10 days and see if it gets better – the idea is that she will stop nursing in the middle of the night.

I was up with my little one since 2:20 and finally sometime after 4:30 she fell asleep again, I didn’t dare move even though I was cold and uncomfortable on the floor next to her little crib mattress. I’m considering this as a success, I didn’t give in and although I was crying myself at 4am, we made it through this rough spot and I’m looking forward to her waking up and being able to do a good morning nursing session with her.