My lesson of the day - the lost glove incident

This morning, we were on track for an on-time school day departure.  Mama was feeling pretty good about it, but then we had a little trouble finding mittens and gloves.

Allow me to back up to yesterday afternoon... as I was gathering my belongings from the car, I noticed both girls had left their gloves and mittens inside.  As the garage only heats to 40 degrees, I swooped up the gloves and mittens, and placed them by the girls' coats. I mentally congratulated myself. So smart. So efficient. What a good mom. Yay, me!

Fast forward to this morning... I tell the girls to get in the car so we can be on time.  Loading up, getting ready to go... uh oh, we have a problem. Big Girl ends up with two gloves for the same hand. Apparently, the two gloves I picked up weren't an actual pair.  Ugh.

I tell her to look around in the car, which she does, and still doesn't find a match for either glove.  I ask her to look on the floor, inside the middle console, behind the seat, down on the sides, and she still can't find it. At this point, I am frustrated and Little One comes into the car (after going back inside the house to retrieve her mittens), saying she can't find her mittens.  I  feel myself get really annoyed, and then Little One immediately says, "Just Kidding".  I was struggling to find the humor.

Big Girl tells me that she leaves her gloves in the car on purpose, so she has them every morning. "But they're cold", I protest. She informs me that it feels good to put on the cold gloves. I do not understand this at all. At this point, we are really pushing for time, and I am getting more anxious about being late for school. I was even feeling offended that my valiant effort was not appreciated! I wonder again, "Why doesn't she think like I do?"

I finally hand her my own gloves, and tell her I will look inside the car again when I get home from drop-off.

I look in the rear view mirror, and notice she is looking glum. I ask her what's the matter, and she tells me she is depressed about losing her glove. Luckily, I hand her a book to read and she perks right up. We make it to school just in time.

After getting home, I thought about the morning, I reflected on the idea that Big Girl is getting older, and making decisions that make sense for her.  I don't always understand her choices, but there is a thought process.

I may not think leaving gloves in the car overnight is a sound decision, but they are just gloves. They are not even MY gloves, so I need to let her do what she wants with them.  I need to stop assuming that my way is always best.

It is such a small and insignificant thing to worry over, but I can't help thinking that had I simply left her gloves in the car, I would not have been frustrated and in turn, frustrated her.  She did what she could to be organized, and I inadvertently thwarted her.

This seems to be a valuable lesson for me, to be more aware that my Big Girl is growing up and that she has a mind of her own. I do want her to make her own decisions, and I need to remember that I can help guide her, but she's entering tween territory. I need to encourage her independent thinking, ask questions instead of instructing, and be on guard that I don't discourage her to be herself - I want her to make choices that are right for her.

This is getting complicated.

Secretkeeper September

I am so stunned at how quickly September flew by!

Luckily, we were able to have a final family vacation and say goodbye to the summer at the start of this month, which was really wonderful.

I recently took my big girl to a "Secretkeeper Girl" event, and it was amazing! I thought they did a fantastic job of setting it up as an entertainment-based way to give the young ladies messages of modesty and that it's okay (even good!)  to be different. We also got to rock out with a pre-show concert by 1 Girl Nation, and we have been playing their CD ever since - the music and singing is really fun and danceable, it sounds just as good if not better than many of the popular music on the radio, yet it still has a positive, Christian message.

At one point in the evening, one of the event emcees asked everyone to close their eyes and raise their hand if they had something they didn't like about themselves. I could hear nearly every hand around me go up in the air.

I was glad eyes were closed, because I became overwhelmed with sadness that these BEAUTIFUL young ladies, including my precious daughter, have things they don't like about themselves. I did my best to dry my eyes before everyone else opened theirs, but I am still so sad that young girls are struggling with their looks at such a young age.

We will do our best to instill self-love and self-acceptance in our little ladies, and hopefully they will be a light to each other and to all their friends.

Reflections on this summer

For many of my friends and family members out of state, school has already begun.  We won't start until after Labor Day - and I love that!

We have had a wonderful summer so far, and we are squeezing as much enjoyment as we can out of it.  Notice that I said "enjoyment" vs. activities.   We have definitely been enjoying our activities, but have also had our share of goof-off days.

I think it's good for the kids (and for me!) to have days where we do simple things such as go to the library, browse through the books, and read for a few hours.  Another mom from school set up a schedule for Wednesdays at the park, and some of us show up when we can and stay as long as the kids are playing well. As well, when we're home and the girls are playing with their stuffed animals, using their imagination, and getting along -  let's just say it's beautiful music to my ears.  Therefore, I don't want to interrupt them to go somewhere else.  They are enjoying their home, which builds a foundation for home as a place that they love to be. At the same time, I can conquer a few home chores (dishes, laundry, dinner prep, etc.) while they are occupied, which makes me feel accomplished.

I think it's important to have a good mix: activities at home and outside the home, structured and unstructured time.  The summer is coming to an end, and that means our unstructured time will be a much smaller percentage of time soon, but they know how to use it well. I think that's a lasting lesson that will reap many benefits in their future.

Settling in for the rest of the Summer!

This week marks the 3rd week of my new "at-home Mom" status, and I am really, really happy with how things are going.

Our beds are made daily, we're eating home-cooked meals most nights (part of Operation Home Sweet Home, see my previous post), and we're regularly attending Spanish lessons, swim lessons at the Y, as well as various other summer activities with friends: play dates at the park, strawberry picking, swimming at the local pool, and we even had one week of Vacation Bible School (which I was able to help with, 4 out of 5 days)!

I decided to save the majority of my "inside" activities and projects for when the girls return to school. I have a long list of things I'd like to do, but my first priority right now is to get every bit of enjoyment we possibly can over the next 5 weeks until school starts.

Operation Home Sweet Home!

I completed my last official day of (paid) work today! Now I will be home with the girls on a full-time basis. I am so thankful that I have this opportunity. I have longed to be able to do this for a while, so I feel like I do realize what a blessing it is.  I also know that there have been days with my kids that I thought would make me lose my mind, so it will be interesting to see how this plays out. I am trying not to have idyllic and unrealistic expectations going into this new adventure.

As I thought about what I'd like to focus on while staying home, I began to formulate my big idea.  I recently re-read "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin, which inspired me to consider this new undertaking as my own personal project.

My latest undertaking shall henceforth be known as "Operation Home Sweet Home" (HSH for short).

I wanted to give myself a game plan, because I have a lot of projects waiting for me. There are so many things that I just didn't have time to get to before, while I was working. What I hope is that by giving myself a guideline, it can influence what I choose to spend my time doing. I don't want to get sucked into a myriad of activities that are overwhelming, or time-consuming without being part of the bigger picture.

I was recently working part-time for a while, which gave me a chance to learn a few things that I hope will help with the transition from working mom to stay-at-home mom.  I learned that for me, having something tangible which I have completed gives me a sense of accomplishment that eludes me if I spend the majority of my time on the never-ending laundry and kitchen cleaning duties.

I also realized that I might not do something well, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy doing it.  Case in point  - I saw a wonderfully creative blog called "Ruffles and Stuff" which showed how to repurpose outgrown dresses into skirts for little girls, among other wonderfully inventive things.  My mother is an accomplished seamstress.  I firmly believe such skills must skip a generation. 

I managed to make a skirt out of a too-small sundress dress for my daughter, but I used a combination of hand-sewing and iron on hemming stuff rather than the actual sewing machine. Confession: The sewing machine intimidates me.  Amazingly, it worked, but the inside where I put it together in my own crazily inept fashion does not look very pretty. It looks really cute on the outside and it seems to be comfortable to wear.  My daughter loved it. So, I will continue to sew badly and if I am lucky, I will get better with time and practice. Bonus: This fulfills the aforementioned tangibility factor.

I am going to work a bit at a time on "scoping out" my project (Operation HSH).  I think it will be just as important (maybe even more important?) to figure out what is outside the scope of this undertaking, so I can say no to those things.   Wish me luck!!!

A year? It' s been an entire year since I posted last???

Well, it has been insanely busy, and it never seems to stop. So I'm trying to remember that each of these precious little moments is gone once it slips by.

Even the things that make me so frustrated at times - my kids taking "too long" to go to bed or fall asleep once they're in it... what am I in such a hurry for? To go play on Facebook, read another magazine article, or watch TV? In a few years, my kids won't need or want me to help them fall asleep at night - and I'm going to miss it.

I still catch myself letting my old thought patterns creep in (they are pesky things), but lately I'm praying more and that helps to focus me. For example, if my little one takes a long time to fall asleep, I rub her back and pray while I'm doing it. I usually pray for the children, my husband, ask for grace so that I can be a more loving mom and not let my own impatience, irritability and overall known craziness affect my girls. If it takes a really long time, then I get to pray for our extended family and friends. It's a total win-win, it keeps me from getting upset about how long it's taking, and it leaves my daughter with the feeling that her mommy loves her and is there for her when she's drifting off to sleep.

It's hard when I'm in the moment sometimes, especially when my hubby is home and I want to spend some time with him, but I feel like I am getting better at just defaulting to prayer. So what if it takes an extra 20 minutes? I guarantee when I would fuss and get the kids upset, it takes at least 20 minutes to calm them down and I feel like a jerk afterward.

Now, it may take some time, but they fall asleep peacefully and I get my prayer time in.

I don't get Twilight...

I must be getting old, I just don't get the whole Twilight obsession. I am starting to feel like I'm from the Planet Oldagea.